Every beginning is difficult

This is our first post, and I have decided to tell you about why beginnings are difficult, at least the ones that will have a big impact in your life, those will appear to be difficult and sometimes will give you the illusion that is not such a good idea and you should turn your back to it, and run as fast as you can, or in my case just to avoid them, since I don’t like running.

Beginnings are so difficult because it means something else is ending, it does not matter if it’s good or bad, it’s something we have gotten used to, and gotten comfortable with it in some sort of way. And we, the people, chose the known over the unknown because of fear.

We are currently living in Mexico city, we have lived here for the last 3 years, Edy and I are preparing everything that is needed to move out, to move abroad. This decision is something we decided more than 1 year ago, however until this year we set a date. So, now it’s real, it’s not just an idea, another future plan, we have our one-way tickets to Hamburg.

It’s getting so difficult for me because it means that a phase in my life is coming to an end, and it’s not any phase, it’s a phase of 31 years, it’s not just moving out from my mom’s home, it is crossing an Ocean and part of a continent to be away from those I love, my family, my puppies and my friends, and my beloved tacos!; and that’s not the scariest thing, it is that I will be living in a country that I don’t know (other than Frankfurt, beautiful place), a language I barely know besides those lyrics I have learned from Rammstein, let’s not talk about the job situation, that will come to us once we are there, but still it’s a stressful thing to think about (we will definitely be writing about this later this year).

For us to leave I had to make very hard decisions, to quit on my professional growth, a ‘secure’ job/income, social security, etc. So you might be thinking, why are you doing it then? Well, because of love,  the love to achieve those dreams and goals my husband and I have for the future us, and also because I am a strong believer that you regret more the things you left undone than those you actually dared to do. Life is about choices, but that’s only the first step, in order to succeed you have to commit to those choices/decisions. So, never lose your reason, your why, your motivation.

This upcoming adventure scares the shit out of me *yes Ana curses a lot*… but I told something to Edy when he decided to come to have a life with me in Mexico (Subject for another post) I said: “Don’t fear have faith”… so now it’s my turn to have faith in me and in us. This adventure alone would be much scarier, but I have my partner in life, my best friend, my husband to support me, since he has a lot of experience in the subject of moving far away from those you love the most.

Even writing this post is difficult, because I’m stating those fears, those thoughts, that are in my mind by this time, but sharing them, is good, that’s a way to let them go, so I hope somebody out there reading this might identify with this.

Ana Baltazar

“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of thing not meant for you”

-Buddha